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Sunday, October 29, 2006

I row for the pain,
I bleed for the tears.

it has come to a point, where everything is in such a mess. i don't know what to do. i don't know what i want to do either. each time i row and feel the pain, i ask myself, "why am i doing this, what am i rowing for?" and i feel pain, i feel like dying, i tell myself i won't do this again. yet after i trained, i'll feel like doing it again. i don't know why. i just feel this way. i guess we'll never have an answer. njcanoeing is like a drug. you don't want it, yet you can't have enough of it. it makes you high, it has side effects too. once again, i broke down today. i'm sorry. i guess i really need a wonderwall, someone i can lean on, someone who will be there for me when i'm down. canoeing is like my heart, my broken heart. i don't know how to fix it. ah, just screw it. i can't take it anymore.

I need to be strong,
-again.

my heart still bleeds for you.




tag/links

and now the stars
aren't out tonight, but
neither are we,
to look up at them.
why does hello feel like goodbye?
these memories
can't replace
these wishes I wished
and dreams I chased.
take this broken heart,
and make it right.

when will you save me?



stabbed my heart.